by: Chona Decena

Growing up I was always told that I have to follow everything I’m told because I am just her daughter.  That she’s the one responsible to feed me, clothe me, send me to schoo and buy me everything I need.  Until finally I realized that it was like a dictatorship in our household, you’re not free until the matriarch of the house says so.  They say that age gap is the reason  why there is communication gap, but when can you be right when you are always wrong?  When will be you heard if it goes in one ear and out the other ear.  I found my life growing up very sad.  Until one day, I just decided to go.

I told myself that I will never be like her.  Because I believe that when you give birth to a child, you are given the gift of living.  You continue to live for that child, you want the best for your child but not to the point that you have to tell her what to do and what not to do.  I got three children of my own, and raised them as a sinle mother.  Now  that I’m getting to the age where my goal is to enjoy life to the fullest, I can say that no matter what hardship I’ve gone thru with my children, it was a gift of living so that I can see them  grow, glow and go.

Now I have 5 grandchildren and 1 more soon to come.  All I can say is that everytime a baby is born,  there is always that joy that pinch my heart.  It adds more years to the gift of living my life because my life doesn’t end with my children but will continue on to my grandchildren.  That is the gift of living…..we live to see that our children will grow to be responsible individuals when they reach maturity.  And we continue living to guide them and to give them advice when they need one.  I never patterned my gift of living with my mother because I do not believe that we have to treat our children as excess baggages but rather we should treat them with love, care and attention.  That for me is the real essence of the gift of living my life  because I believe that my real treasures are my children and my grandchildren.