by

Roger Encarnacion

(This essay was published in the Filipino Pioneers Club Magazine under the author’s pseudonym.)
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Many poems, songs, and stories about love have been written by famous writers, composers, and thinkers the world over and one can only surmise how barren and empty our lives will be without the love-inspired literary gems and musical masterpieces that we know of today.

In its many forms and substance, love is the essence and the spirit that makes the world go round. It is the most beautiful reason for living. Peter and Gordon, the famous British pop singers of the sixties summed it best when they sang: “I don’t care what they say; I won’t stay in a world without love!”

Love is noble and pure. It is also possessive and demanding. It is demonstrative. It is encompassing. It is compassionate. But sometimes, it is cruel and unreasonable.

Love is also insane. Alejandro Abadilla, the rebel poet from Cavite, justified his penchant for abusing his wife, claiming that by hurting her he was making a martyr out of her, and for this she should be thankful.

Love is also magnanimous. Rousseau, a world renowned French philosopher married his servant and not a woman who was rich, sophisticated and whose social and intellectual stature paralleled his, believing that he would bring a far greater happiness to a servant than he could have ever brought to a more privileged woman.

Love is also blind and foolish. Lots of true-to-life stories abound where we think a man or a woman makes a terrible mistake by marrying the most undeserving person that ever exists in this planet. We sound critical and judgmental whenever we hear that a  cosmopolitan woman – educated, talented, and the owner of a successful business – is attracted to a pig-headed bum whose only qualification is being good at playing basketball.

Love is also materialistic. The prettiest daughter of a poor family in one remote barrio in the Philippines will choose to marry a U.S. Navy sailor man rather than her other equally deserving suitors such as doctors, lawyers, and engineers for obvious reason. The promise of a comfortable life in the U.S. for herself and her clan is indeed a very compelling and rational motivation.

And finally, love is a two-timing scoundrel.  I am not sure if a man or a woman is capable of loving more than one spouse at the same time. But it is a common occurrence in our society. Many of our politicos, movie personalities, athletes, businesspersons, academicians, and employees of all ranks and labels in the government and private businesses are notorious for indulging in illicit affairs. Alas, even the vagrants of the streets are not spared from this evil social practice.

To the men, it is the macho thing to do. To the women, the reasons are financial, sense of adventure, a retaliatory reaction to an unfaithful partner, blind attraction, an escape from boredom, and self assurance that they are still attractive – all of which can be said also of the male species. Their common denominator, though, is that they are putting themselves in a situation where there are no winners, only losers. The end result is family break-up, undue suffering of children, and often times violent and tragic confrontations.