Publisher's Note

Publisher’s Note
HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY THREE KINGS! As we are now in 2019, new year, new beginnings, new challenges and new opportunities. Everyone is entitled to make their new year’s resolution for as long as they keep it in mind and make sure that they do it to the best of their ability. When I was young [...]
Read full post »

Visitors to Pinoytimes

Start of StatCounter Code

End of StatCounter Code

Page added on November 28, 2012

Email This Post Printable version

Print This Post

Alone this Christmas

By: Glynn Galla

It was an ordinary night, nothing to do because it will be my day-off the next day. I turn on the TV and watch TFC, as I was looking some pictures on the net, when a singer begun to sing “Pasko na Sinta Ko”. It made me pause for a while and upon listening to the music, I locked my eyes back to the TV and followed the lyrics of the song. It took like a minute that I realize that I was all alone; it’s been a while since I had a relationship, and this coming Christmas will remind me again that it’s going to be a colder once more.

I lived in Canada for almost 5 years now and I also know how it feels like to be single. I was following all the lyrics of the song and all of it deeply cut like a knife. There are some instances that you want to find someone not just because you don’t want to be alone when Christmas comes but a life you want to share until the end of your days.

Like, when you like someone but she don’t like you the way you want it, it’s sad. Or someone likes you but it’s not the same feeling your feeling towards her, is also sad. Finding someone is really one’s fate. It’s not dictated nor required by somebody else. It’s like a natural feeling that both of you is having it.

I tried the long distance relationship and I was keeping my faith on that, there are lots of trials along the way, such as; you are in the different time zone, or you will arrived home and she is about to sleep, or when you wake up when she just left for work. There are also vulnerable times that you need her but as much as she wants to hear your worries it’s not possible for she has more important things to do. Most of the time we just left off line messages just to make sure that we are still in touch. But as these challenges keep repeating along the way, you will start thinking if it’s really worth fighting for. Is it really the relationship that you want to keep going or it must come to an end?

Qualities of a person is very important, there you can see how compatible you are and how your differences meet. As days, and months past these qualities gradually shows as to what kind of partner you want for the rest of your life. Things started to get flat, the attention you are expecting was no longer there, the thrill seeing her seems to get low, and she started to have no time for you anymore. I understand where we stand but somehow you want someone near and close to you, tangible and you could cuddle whenever you want. At first, your affection to each other is unquestioned but as time goes, these feelings need to be reaffirmed. Reaching out is truly a good thing but is it really a genuine one or just a requirement just to keep it moving?

So there was a time that I told her that ill will make a way so she can be with me here. The reaction was static as I was also excited that one day we will experience together walking while the snow of Christmas is all around us. As we all know that it’s very hard and it will take a long process to have, like; your love one to be with you. I know that Immigration Agency needs documents proofing of your bond and togetherness. It will be another challenge to us to prove that even we’ve spent less time together but the intense of our feelings will admit us.

God knows I tried other alternatives to get her, but it seems destiny is not letting us. I still keep our communication open and continuously calling and messaging her and until one day, reading her message made an impact to me, it’s like my world turns 360. I was not expecting it from her, reading between the lines seems fishy and I try ignoring it but my gut is saying differently.

With a tired body from work and a heavy heart I contemplated and weigh things because I don’t want to make any decisions later that I will regret. I ask some of my close friends and family members for I want to confine my emotions to them. It’s sad, but all of them are just looking for my own good, its hurts like a striking lightning that hit me in a flash, I must make a decision. A decision that I believe that sooner she will realize that I made a better one.

It’s hard, but I have to say goodbye. I ended up the on and off long distance relationship for our own good and just promise to her that I will help her in other ways. I can’t afford to risk my own self continued to it and then after, regretting. I have heard lots and lots of stories not just to our kakabayans but also in different races wanting to be here in Canada, taking all chances whatever it takes even breaking some ones heart. I’m not saying that she is not true to me or the other way around but as I’m getting mature I should be cautious and careful in a very sensitive decision, for life has no “undo” tool that you can click.

It’s it will be Christmas soon, I’m not fun of wishing for I believe you can have what you want when you work for it. But this time it’s my inner self saying make a wish and be hopeful. It might not be this coming Christmas but there are more Christmas to come and by that time I will be have snowflakes on my shoulder but not alone.

Alone this Christmas

pinoytimes.ca © 2009