Both partners feel safe and strong enough to tell each other how they really feel.

Communicating

Both partners listen to and respect each other’s point of view.  They make decisions together.

Disagreements

A couple has a disagreements and still talk respectfully to each other.  They work things out together, so they both get what they need.

Intimacy and Sex

Both partners can be honest about how they feel about being physical and having sex.  Neither partner feels pressured to do anything he or she doesn’t want to do.

Time Alone

Both partners can spend time alone and think of this as a healthy part of the relationship.

Verbal Abuse

A couple tries hard not to talk harshly to or about each other.

Violence

There is no physical violence or threat of violence in the relationship.

Partners feel awkward and don’t tell each other how they really feel.

Communicating

One partner ignores the other and doesn’t respect different opinions

Disagreements

Disagreements often turn into fights

Intimacy and Sex

One partner is embarrassed to say how he or she feels or what he or she needs.  This makes the person go along with things that he or she may not be comfortable with.

Time Alone

One partner thinks there may be something wrong if the other person wants to do things without him or her.  One partner tries to keep the other to him or herself.

Verbal Abuse and Violence

There have been a few times harsh language was used in the relationship, but no clear pattern of abuse or violence.

One partner is afraid to tell the other how he or she really feels.  He or she is scared of getting “put down” or threatened.

Communicating

One partner treats the other with disrespect.  He or she ignores the other person’s ideas and feelings or makes fun of him or her.

Disagreements

One partner is afraid to disagree because he or she doesn’t want the other person to get angry and violent.  The disagreement is used as an excuse for abuse.

Intimacy and Sex

One partner ignores the other person’s needs and wants.  The other partner is pushed into doing things that make him or her feel uncomfortable, afraid and ashamed.

Time Alone

One partner doesn’t let the other spend time doing things on his or her own because it is a threat to the relationship.

Verbal Abuse

There is a pattern of increasing or ongoing verbal or psychological abuse (e.g. Not getting money, damaging belongings, threats to hurt or kill the person).

Violence

There is increasing or ongoing pattern of pushing, slapping, shaking, choking, punching, or forced sexual contact.