Publisher's Note

Publisher’s Note
It was 22 years ago when I arrived in Canada and chose Calgary, Alberta to be my home. Leaving my family and friends behind, it was a new adventure for me to be in a new country without knowing anyone. That was the time I looked for a Filipino community paper and never found any, [...]
Read full post »

Visitors to Pinoytimes

Start of StatCounter Code

End of StatCounter Code

Page added on May 21, 2017

Email This Post Printable version

Print This Post

Erwinism: The Bogeyman Steps Out of the Closet

By Erwin Maramat

Memories have a funny way of keeping you awake at night, a good substitute for espresso. They stare at you until sleep grows stale. In one of those episodes, it came to me as a ghost of the past. It took my thoughts by the hand and illuminated a scene long forgotten. I was in the street across my house, my dad was asking for the basketball. He aimed at the ring and took a shot, but he was no Stephen Curry, it ended up as an air ball and landed inside a satellite store and broke jars filled with confectionaries. He reached into his pocket and handed the store clerk some cash for the damage. The game was over and he never played with me again. It was one of the moments I cling onto up to this day. Spending time with my dad made me feel complete, but he was a busy man until he retired and decided to permanently retire in the hereafter, so I decided not to follow in his footsteps and never dreamt of ever becoming a lawyer. My mom on the other hand hanged out with us as kids. She’d read books to us and take us everywhere she went. Like your mom, she is super.

My folks raised us well, but they were never around. The only ever time they go to my school is when my siblings and I get into trouble and they were called for a conference, so I thought that it was a reasonable way to get them to visit school.

Now that I am father of two. I keep learning how to raise myself as a dad. It’s more than just a role, it calls for all the values we have learned and translate them into action. Parenting is a science. You can’t genetically modify your children, you can’t engineer them into perfection, but you can always engineer a conducive milieu for them to thrive and for them to realize their potential. In their crucial years, spending time with them is a must.

Canada is child-friendly, but because we are so caught up with our lives paying mortgages; trying to land dream jobs and securing financial stability we often take our children for granted and before we know it they are leaving to start lives of their own.

Most of the time, we are more interested in meeting out friends than being with our children. We have to set our priorities straight. It’s good to have friends, but we overstep the bounds, when we focus more on them and pay little attention to our children. Do you love camping with families and friends? Of course, we do. We take time off and drive away to Banff. We pitch tents and gather around fires while enjoying the scenic backdrop with packs of beer and countless hours of wonderful conversation. Only one major problem, isn’t that supposed to be a family outing?

“What kind of animal is that, dad?”

“Later kid, not only do I lack the capacity to logically answer that question, but I’m busy impressing people who talk smack about me when I’m not around. The wilderness has so much to offer these young minds, but we’d rather talk and laugh with our friends.”

How many times have you had an invitation over the phone, and the other person on the line is saying, “We’re throwing a birthday party for princess, why don’t you come over?”

Wow, I didn’t know your princess was into Kokanee. We just disguise bachelor’s party as children’s party.

A beautiful afternoon with the kids at the park. Gee! Your kids seem to be as old as you are, nope, they’re not at all kids. They’re those gossipmongers who keep you company. Your kids are pushing their own backs on the swings or learning to ride their bike, but you missed a hallmark moment because selfies with buddies mean more. Hoist the Larry O’Brien trophy.

Nobody’s perfect, but it’s not an excuse to not know or do better. Selfies are not bad, except there are elves in the background who want to get into the action. Yep, those little people want to be in the photo too. The only problem is that there’s just enough room for drinking buddies. Parents sulk, they have the right to Par-tey. Here’s an Oscar to go with that!

One day, you’d shrivel into a sorry old hag and princess would prefer Kokanee instead of spending time with you. It’s okay, friends will definitely take care of you. This generation has been frowned upon. You have shows that poke fun at elderly people and viral YouTube videos about people conducting so called social experiments that encourage humiliation, and you are wondering why children act this way? Most kids often talk to a one-eyed face with an apple logo, while others are left at the care of Mr. Samsung and Ms. XBOX. It’s almost mother’s day and why not make a date with your little ones. When a child tells you there’s a Bogeyman in the closet, you better believe him or her because sometimes we are the very Bogeyman that neglects them.

A child who has everything may be good, but a child who needs nothing but to love of his or her parents to get them through is everything.

Erwinism: The Bogeyman Steps Out of the Closet

pinoytimes.ca © 2009