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Publisher’s Note
It was 22 years ago when I arrived in Canada and chose Calgary, Alberta to be my home. Leaving my family and friends behind, it was a new adventure for me to be in a new country without knowing anyone. That was the time I looked for a Filipino community paper and never found any, [...]
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Erwinism: Art of the Gain

By Erwin D. Maramat

Every now and then I get personal messages and emails from some of my friends on Facebook seeking my thoughts on their personal matters. Instead of a letter format, I’m just going to concisely elaborate some of them and answer them. Disclaimer: I’m as human as you are and I claim no expertise on the matter, but take it as a friendly thought, note; not an advice.

Forgive

Situation: You have not spoken to a significant other for some time in your life, you are holding grudges and every time you think about what this person has done to you, it makes you grind your teeth. You occupy your time with bitter thoughts instead of the usual disposition ideal to your well-being.

Solution: Forgive the person or keep ignoring the person.

What am I to gain if I forgive the person?

Martin Luther King said that he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.

Love is an effective cure to anger. While it takes time to heal, expediting the forgiving process likewise accelerates easing the burden brought by hatred. It also speaks well of how mature you are as a person when it comes to dealing with relationships and productively managing your emotions. These are not horoscope generalities, don’t take my word for it and there is no money back guarantee, but if you want peace, then be willing to forgive and to love.

Fostering hatred will not only leave you restless at night, but ironically, you are also punishing yourself more than you do your enemy. As it already is, you and everyone else have more than enough on your plate. Managing life can be hectic, so why have room for issues that you can drop or resolve, and even better it can lead to rekindling a once delightful relationship.

Live within your means

Situation: You feel that you don’t belong. There is a need for you to upgrade your wardrobe and your looks constantly. You crave attention and approval and more so the admiration of people. You want it all, but you also have accrued debts by doing so.

Solution: Live within your means or go for broke.

What am I to gain if I lived within my means?

If you can afford this lavish lifestyle, flaunt it; if not then live within your means. It really doesn’t cost much to look presentable, the problem is, we are heavily influenced by endorsements and promotion of a consumerism-driven media and the objects of our desire are being data mined and are being transformed into a lucrative pool of profit as it has always been. Predictive analytics is ensuring most of these companies a mapped-out detail of our wants which make it easier for them to manipulate consumers. Believe me, the catch phrases that often gets us are in the end insincere statements designed to dig deep in our pockets by companies who couldn’t care less about you or your family. The cliché that you won’t be able to take earthly possessions to your grave is as old as the hoodoo hills in Drumheller, but it still rings true today. What you should be worried about is trying to live a debt-free life so you can pursue unforgettable moments that will last you a lifetime, then there is no longer a need to be worried. We often let what we wear define us so much that when we are unable to find the money for the looks, we end up depressed. Again, going back, most of the time, marketers find the means to make us feel ugly and insecure and to fill that void we tend to submit to their advice. You are fine the way you are, and if you are living free of others’ expectation; then, you are truly free.

Artemis Fowl

Situation: Your kid is quite smart, but he or she treats you as inferior and he obviously is a spoiled brat. He fares well in school, but discriminates other kids who aren’t as popular or intellectually gifted as he or she is. You are hoping that he or she will eventually outgrow this phase.

Solution: Talk to your child or face the consequence.

What am I to gain if I correct my child?

You are not Victor Frankenstein, you are not creating a monster to be unleashed to the society; you are the child’s parents and it is your duty to correct him instead of being passive about his behavior. It is important to communicate with the child and be matured enough to handle your emotions when dealing with him or her. You must present a reasonable stance that reflects authority and respect at the same time to positively encourage the child in doing what is right. Whatever you do; don’t embarrass him or her. Most of the time they are trying to assert themselves in a world controlled by adults, so manage the conversation, but acknowledge how they feel and point out what you can do to resolve the problem. It is imperative that you let the child earn his or her rewards, and speaking of rewards; give the child something he or she and you will enjoy and cherish. Nip it in the bud and drop like it’s hot.

Erwinism: Art of the Gain

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