Publisher's Note

  • Publisher’s Note

    It’s been 23 years since I’ve moved to Canada from the Philippines.  I remember that the first thing I looked for was a Filipino community paper so I can read some news about the community being new in Calgary.  I never found any Filipino community paper back in 1996. From them on I told myself that [...]

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Page added on February 22, 2017

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Erwinism: For the Love of Love

By Erwin D. Maramat

Is love just mere intervention of neurochemicals that govern our drives? We have psychologists performing longitudinal studies on love, but knowing how love works more important than actually loving people? It’s such a tragedy that people are in pursuit of life’s origin without knowing how to live it fully, and to live in love with everyone.

We love romance. We spend innumerable hours watching, reading, and of course gossiping about romance. We can relate to soap operas because one way or another we see ourselves in the protagonists or even the antagonists with whom we vehemently dare not identify ourselves. Those stories earn our admiration for there are times we wish to fill their shoes and be swept away. We live in these fantasies, away from reality, so we can be momentarily free. What we really need is a needle to burst our bubble and face the truth that love is something that requires a great deal of patience and maturity.

The bond between two or more people as held by love is meant to be fragile, in other words relationships were meant to be imperfect. Can you imagine yourselves waking up in a room filled with light with daises and roses by your bed side table every day for the rest of your lives? I didn’t think so. So you were promised the moon, and now you want your money back. There are millions of self-help titles by brilliant authors, and to their credit some actually are legit when it comes to how relationships ought to be managed, but in retrospect, there are also beautiful love stories that you’d hear from those who were before us without the intervention of these gurus and yet their relationships have thrived and ended with a happily ever after and after life. We can always learn a valuable lesson from their experience, to think there were no marriage counselors back in the days. People bore themselves to death thinking that fairy tales last forever, until they discover that they are in a soap opera.

The minute a couple is done with the honeymoon stage their relationship begins to teeter, no mystery there, the hunk or the babe turns out to be the evil step brother or sister in the fairy tale and how you wish you dated the fairy godmother instead. Isn’t that what love about? To be open to changes and be able to and be willing to—if I must say—work through it. Nowadays, at the first sight of trouble, more and more people go on separate ways because they often think that breakups or divorce is the answer because they have the assumption that someone better will come along, for sure their might be people who are more mature when it comes to dealing with things, but in most cases it’s just a reboot of a dream that in due course turns into a nightmare and they find themselves abandoning their ship again.

Don’t fall for just the looks. Whether or not people would admit it has something to do with the fantasies they want to live, and yes it has something to do with sex so they can get the optimal pleasure that they seek to achieve. Again reality sets in, you can’t stay in the bedroom (or the kitchen, whatever makes you happy) all day. Of course it is crucial to be intimate with our partners, but we can’t limit to just that. ‘Partner’ is the key word there, you work on things together without complaints. You want to achieve something together. You would want to set goals and share the moment once achieved; you are a team. You have to trust one another and make the best things that hold you together exclusive, that means never letting other people meddle with your affairs, especially if it doesn’t really need anyone’s involvement. Over the years you’ll get bored with each other, that’s because you keep on expecting things to be static, but change is inevitable, and the best way to go over this is to discover new things with your partner. I have been married to my wife for fifteen years now and just recently we started coloring book nights with two of our closest friends, our kids, I also let her listen to my Metallica and Megadeth collection to which she is warming up, and I volunteered to be a food taster for her sweet treats; it’s a win-win situation.

It’s no mystery, the real tearjerker these days are not simulated drama, but reality. There is just so much hatred in the news circulating around the globe. It’s something that no amount of chocolate or number of flowers can cure, but unconditional love will definitely help. Sure the heart is a symbol of love, but if one chooses to see beyond the shape, he or she will find that the blood it supplies around the body is the same element that binds us all as brothers and sisters.


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